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Blue Bible
The Wisdom and Revelations of the Bluemin and His Prophet (colloquially known as the Blue Bible or The Blueble) is a set of sacred texts or scriptures which is considered to be a product of divine inspiration and a record of the relationship between Bluemin and his prophet, his subjects, and normies. Currently, it is still in the process of being written as the blessed writers are working industriously to process an official Blue Bible to be used by The Blue Cult. A rightly translated, shortened and Bluemin-approved version of the scripture, it is only to be read by the wisest of men and contains many hidden truths. It is said that only the purest of the purest mememeisters can read it. History Roman Empire During the Persecution of the Baptists by Emperor Constantine, Pastor Jim was the last Baptist on the entire Roman Empire. Before he was caught and handed over to Constantine for execution, he buried the King James Bible into the ground, hoping that someone would restore the one true faith. It came to pass that Bluemin, through the aid of his prophet, discovered Pastor Jim's King James Bible. He, then, breathed that bible with his breath of autism and shitpostery which turned into the sacred texts of the Bluemin and His Prophet. The breath was so powerful and holy that the scriptures brightly glowed that made the scriptures hidden to the normie eye yet visible to the purest of the purest mememeisters. Byzantine Empire under Emperor Basil II After the victory of Emperor Basil II against the Bulgarians, it is said that he showed Bluemin's sacred scriptures to the Bulgarian prisoners held at oubliettes. The scriptures glowed so bright that it burned the eyes of the prisoners, blinding them mercilessly. The reason behind the incident was because the Bulgarians were "the normiest of the normiest" during those times. Because of this event, Basil ordered that the scriptures were too powerful to be read even by the emperor himself, and so they were compiled, placed in bags, and buried into the ground only to be read by the purest of the purest, the memeiest of the memeiest. Some were buried behind the city walls of Constantinople, while some were buried in the Hagia Sophia. The Ottoman Empire Entering Constantinople after the siege, Mehmet II ordered that the Hagia Sophia be turned to a mosque. His soldiers went on and destroyed numerous mosaics, raped many women and children, and looted and destroyed many churches. One of his soldiers discovered the scriptures of Bluemin behind the Hagia Sophia. He gave it to Mehmet II which he ordered the soldier to read it for him. The moment he opened the bag, bright streaks of light shot the eyes of the soldier, burning the eyes and causing lethal damage to the brain, turning him into a kebab impaled on a stick. The soldier died, and so Mehmet ordered that all Bluemin's scriptures be burned and its ashes thrown into the Bosphorus Strait, never to be seen or heard of ever again. Later on, Sultan Suleiman decreed that the name "Bluemin" be banned from the entire empire and that every icon, symbol, and anything that reminds the people of Bluemin is to be burned along with the owners. Rediscovery While Sean Blackaert (a human from the non-existent country of Belgium) was shitposting, Bluemin spoke to him about writing a book. Bluemin added that the book Sean was about to write will mark the return of Bluemin and the Blue Cult to earth, after years of being banned. Immediately, Sean began working on the Blue Bible. After ejaculating to two loli doujins, Sicilé Rêverie Chanson, in his sleep, received a vision from Bluemin. The vision was that Bluemin and his prophet was calling him to become one of the writers of the Blue Bible. He refused at first because he has "unholy minds, hands, and bedsheets". Bluemin's prophet took a burning meme from the fireplace and placed the meme on his head, his hands, and his bedsheets. As the meme touched them, they were burning but they were not consumed. Then Bluemin spoke, "Go, you are no longer a normie, for I have made you the master of memes." Sicilé then woke up from his slumber, told Sean about it, and began working on the Blue Bible as well. He has successfully accomplished the draft for The Book of the Proverbs of Sicilé Chanson, Inspired by Bluemin. He is now reviewing and finishing the said book.